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Post by .:Connor:. on Jul 14, 2008 21:29:42 GMT -4
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me".
12)The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry".
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
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littlestream12
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Post by littlestream12 on Jul 25, 2008 14:36:19 GMT -4
amazing
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Post by .:Connor:. on Jul 25, 2008 15:08:10 GMT -4
Ain't it?
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icewing
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Post by icewing on Jul 25, 2008 16:00:24 GMT -4
This is cool!
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Post by .:Connor:. on Jul 25, 2008 16:01:05 GMT -4
Love it.
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Dragonfly
Toddler Creature
Don't Bother with me. I happy, but angry, and Sad. I NEVER WANNA SEE HIM AGAIN! But then again i do.
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Post by Dragonfly on Jul 26, 2008 12:07:35 GMT -4
XD thats funnie
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icewing
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Post by icewing on Jul 26, 2008 13:47:41 GMT -4
OMG! Still Silverstar??? If we type another word I feel like my fingers are going to fall off, and if I don't stop laughing I mine as well burst my voice box.
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Post by .:Connor:. on Aug 6, 2008 4:11:33 GMT -4
Been awhile since I have been on, anyways. (Band camp)
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riverheart
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Post by riverheart on Aug 9, 2008 17:04:42 GMT -4
Hmmm i don't get it.
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Post by .:Connor:. on Aug 24, 2008 10:54:33 GMT -4
Get what? I went to band camp, the reason for my absence.
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riverheart
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Post by riverheart on Aug 26, 2008 19:13:39 GMT -4
Nvm.
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ivyheart
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Post by ivyheart on Sept 22, 2008 20:57:36 GMT -4
Oh its a looong story isn't it Silverstar?
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Post by .:Connor:. on Sept 22, 2008 21:10:41 GMT -4
Huh? Sorry, wasn't really paying attention to what is going on.
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ivyheart
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Post by ivyheart on Jun 21, 2009 18:30:18 GMT -4
Well.. it's been awhile. Her and I were posting non stop. .
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+RianRae+
Elder Creature
KatManx101 YoUtUbe
Why am i different then the others??
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Post by +RianRae+ on Jun 22, 2009 0:22:17 GMT -4
I dont get it
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Post by .:Connor:. on Jun 22, 2009 10:21:52 GMT -4
I think Ivyheart is talking about the time that her and I were keep posting after the other posted on over 5 threads. It was hard keeping up with each other. Man, that was a long time ago. Oh yeah, I have band camp again this summer. I think I leave on July 27th and come back on August 2nd.
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+RianRae+
Elder Creature
KatManx101 YoUtUbe
Why am i different then the others??
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Post by +RianRae+ on Jun 24, 2009 11:17:45 GMT -4
Im in band but i dont like going to camp and plus i dont even no where i can go for band camp cause my school dosent have one.
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